one of everything and a diet coke: Archive

3 tags

Aug 31st

9 notes

2 tags

Sal (age 10) Henry (age 7) and Me (age 33) Watch...

Henry: What the heck? They're kissing on the beach saying "don't go"? What is this? The end of the movie?
Henry: What the heck? Is that Elvis?
Henry: What the heck is with this cartoon? What are hooties? Is that another word for hooters?
Henry: Are those guys the jackasses in this movie? Yeah, I think these guys are the jackasses.
Henry: Elvis smokes?
Me: Isn't Elvis. It's John Travolta.
Sal: His eyes are too small for his nose. Who is THAT? 
Me: Stockard Channing.
Sal: She does NOT look like she'd be in High School.
Henry: Please tell me no one dressed or walked like this in real life. I don't think the Elvis looking guy knows his blondie girl is at this school.
Henry: Did he just put a frog in her purse?
Me: You were right about those guys.
Henry: they are the jackass badasses, is Elvis one of those guys?
Sal: Yeah.
Henry: Do they just sit at the football practice and and make fun of everyone?
Me: Yeah.
Sal: I don't like these people. They're all rude.
Me: Sandy doesn't seem rude.
Sal: So?
Henry: I love this movie. Wait ARE THEY ALL JUST SINGING?!?! SUDDENLY!?
Me: Yeah. that's what happens in High School.
Henry: Seriously? Did this just suddenly happen?? He's singing about her and she's singing about him? Weird. They both don't know they're in the same school?? You can tell that crazy girl is lip syncing. You can tell they're all lip syncing.
Sal: The 50's look stupid. Elvis has a crazy chin dimple.
Henry: Anyone can have a dimple like that, if they take a knife and just carve one out.
Sal: Yeah, I'm sure the principal says "Quiet" and they're all quiet. That doesn't happen.
Henry: WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE THAT TO SANDY?!?!
Me: Why do you think?
Henry: 'Cause he's a jackass.
Me: Henry you can't say that word again, ok..... but yeah. 
Henry: Rizzo and these girls Sandy is friends with are the bad girls. Alllright!!!
Sal: This is boring.
Henry: Are they kissing in the car? Oh my god they are licking each other!! CHINESE KISSING!!
Me: Chinese kissing?
Henry: Uh, what is it, Japanese kissing? French... oh yeah french kissing.
 (Greased Lightning comes on)
Henry: Too much singing. Can I turn this off?
Beatrix walks in: Oh look at all the princesses dancing!
Sal: Those cars don't look fast, they look like hippos.
Henry: OH MY GOD LOOK AT SANDY SHE'S A BAD GIRL NOW!
Sal: Those pants.
Henry: Grandad and I went on the Gravitron 2 times last week.
Me: You did not!
Henry: Yeah, twice, I puked.
Me: YOU DID NOT TAKE MY DAD ON THE GRAVITRON TWICE!
Henry: I did. See that one ride in the movie? It looks so boring, it must be a 'kissing ride', the kind you go on just to kiss people?
Me: Chinese Kiss them?
Henry: Har-Har. Green screen car flying into the SKY!!!!!

Aug 31st

399 notes

5 tags

Aug 31st

17 notes

3 tags

Aug 30th

5 notes

6 tags

Aug 30th

2,352 notes

6 tags

Aug 28th

7 notes

Aug 28th

190,967 notes

4 tags

Aug 28th

5 notes

4 tags

Aug 27th

Rob Delaney: Be Kind, Even on the Internet →

robdelaney: Earlier today someone wrote to me on Twitter “you’re the most disgusting tweeter I have ever decided to follow #UNFOLLOW” I RTd her, attaching this “Thank you! #prolapse #fistula RT @[redacted]: you’re the most disgusting tweeter I have ever decided to follow #UNFOLLOW” My joke, in case…

Aug 27th

291 notes

5 tags