one of everything and a diet coke

as we stumble through life (and across the interwebs) each day, we find ourselves constantly amused, entertained, enlightened and intrigued. and, this is what we've found.

Dec 3
ugh finallllllllllly solves my problem of just never being able to find a knife sharp enough to cut through those tough bananas. 

ugh finallllllllllly solves my problem of just never being able to find a knife sharp enough to cut through those tough bananas. 

(via theworstthingsforsale)


the taste is yours, for only a mere $6.95.  

the taste is yours, for only a mere $6.95.  


exactly why i don’t go out to bars.

exactly why i don’t go out to bars.


i can’t believe i never made this connection before. 

i can’t believe i never made this connection before. 


Nov 28
i’m sorry, i wasn’t paying attention…. i was too busy staring at this elephant jumping on a trampoline, carry on. 

i’m sorry, i wasn’t paying attention…. i was too busy staring at this elephant jumping on a trampoline, carry on. 


Nov 27
genuinely didn’t realize there were two alternative reasons for using wiki. 

genuinely didn’t realize there were two alternative reasons for using wiki. 


Nov 15
thank you hertz for this opportunity to breeze through my oft-traveled airports like Westchester.

thank you hertz for this opportunity to breeze through my oft-traveled airports like Westchester.


i mean really, can SOMEBODY please explain the difference of these culinary delights? 

i mean really, can SOMEBODY please explain the difference of these culinary delights? 


step 1: draw a penis.
step 2: turn it into a cat.
done.

step 1: draw a penis.
step 2: turn it into a cat.
done.


Nov 14
hipsters, take note.  the bar has just been raised. 

hipsters, take note.  the bar has just been raised. 


Nov 13
my life, weekly. 

my life, weekly. 


Jun 6

salads, i don't believe it.

  • KL: while i'm currently enjoying a light afternoon snack of farfalle and meatballs, i think my most commonly ordered cuisine is mexican and/or asian. what is everyone’s go-to cuisine?
  • JS: I get an italian sub or bring a salad. It's 90% salads though.
  • JG: JS, you are so full of shit.
  • AH: JS, 90% salads is the biggest load of shit to leave your mouth in a long time. You really expect us to believe that every two weeks, you have a non-salad lunch one time?
  • JS: Publix sub is where it's at. AH your lack of belief doesn't change fact. Homemade salad everyday. Usually with orange juice. You know, to prevent scurvy.
  • AH: JS has a salad 90% of the time, but he shoves it into a loaf of bread and uses mayo as dressing
  • SB: JS we already know you toss alot of salad. Just keep it to yourself.
  • IU: also, how are we expected to believe you, JS, will eat things like salad which usually contain a diverse mix of ingredients when you are the pickiest eater i know?
  • MM: I believe by "salad," JS means a frozen breaded tyson chicken breast with a lipton noodle side, most likely creamy garlic shells or tomato Parmesan
  • KL: okay JS, i'll give you the benefit of the doubt. you eat salad. now, can you please describe, ingredient by ingredient what is in a typical salad for you? spare no detail.
  • IU: his typical salad - ass hair and fecal residue with a hint of chode
  • JS: My salads usually contain lettuce radishes carrots blueberries almonds feta cheese etc. and an oil or vinegar based dressing.
  • KL: i don't know of anyone who would combine radishes and blueberries. i no longer believe your salad-eating story.
  • JB: Your blueberries gave away the lie. You went too far. We all know you're eating frozen Tyson chicken nuggets every day for every meal. What I don't understand is why you have to consume them rectally.
  • JS: I love blueberries. I wouldn't eat ye salad without them. Cranberries are an ok substitute.
  • JB: ye salad? are you ordering these at medieval times?
  • JG: There are three main characteristics of JS here: picky eater, cheap, and lazy. While bringing food from home to save money satisfies one criteria, the actual idea of Jodan taking the time to make the salad he described violates the other two. I'm sticking with my bullshit call.
  • SB: His mom makes the salad for him and packs his lunch, hello. Does she throw a capri sun in there for you also?
  • JG: Obviously its Sunny D and Fruit by the Foot.
  • MM: i just got a craving for shark bites.
  • JB: JS - you ever think about trading parts of your salad for a dunkaroo? don't forget - you don't just dunk. you dunkaroo.
  • KL: does she write you inspirational notes on your napkin? i hear she's quite the wordsmith. [ed. note: his mom writes hardcore “romance” novels]
  • SB: JS do you bring a thermos to work? You seem like a thermos type of guy. Not sure what's in it, but I bet you bring one. Tell me I'm wrong.

May 24
consider this idea stolen for next halloween. 

consider this idea stolen for next halloween. 


May 21
woah. 

woah. 


heavybrowsing:

Seriously?  Be cuter.

heavybrowsing:

Seriously?  Be cuter.


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